The eventful journey from marriagedom to singledom

can anyone tell me how to be happy?

apparently, the key to happiness in singledom is to be happy with oneself. anyone know how to do that?

I’m heading towards my one year anniversary of leaving my marriage and it doesn’t feel great. I keep thinking of going back to the ex, but that’s wrong, right?

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sometimes you just can’t be bothered

I know I’m supposed to be posting every two minutes, but frankly, at the moment, I just can’t be arsed (hashtag). Does that make me a bad person?

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So, last night I had a meltdown. It was a full-blown, crying on the floor type of thing, involving howling down the phone to my friend and sinking a lot of wine. For the first time, I looked in my medicine cabinet and considered taking what was in there…


decided that a fistful of hay-fever tabs probably wouldn’t work…


who knew so many are at it?

I had dinner with my friend last night – let’s call her Betsy.

Betsy has been married for 9 years or so and has two beautiful children. One of each – just perfect. I’ve known for a while Betsy hasn’t been happy. Another sexless marriage. She told me last night it’s been 4.5 years! But she’s never been the type to do anything about it.

Until now.

Betsy is having an affair! She’s 45 and has snagged a 35 year old lover. After a work night out they went back to the office for desktop action. I’ll be keeping you updated…


the start of the end

I left my husband almost a year ago. It’s been awful.

About 5 years ago, I’d started to try and have conversations about how unhappy I was in the marriage. We didn’t connect, didn’t communicate and didn’t have sex. I was miserable.

I’d always been the bread winner and for most of the time we were together, that worked just fine. I went to work and he more or less did everything else; lucky some would say. But really, I was in a gilded cage.

The beginning of the end was stereotypical really. I just stopped going home on time and spent a lot of evenings in the pub with friends from work. I drank a lot of rose in the summer of 2007. We shared an office with lots of other small businesses and one of the MD’s was particularly attentive to me. Not in a physical way, but we talked a lot. I fell for the twinkly eyes and the fact he seemed to understand me. I didn’t have a physical affair with Steve, but it was definitely an emotional affair.

And it was the beginning of the end for my 17 year marriage….

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how did I get here?

I really didn’t expect to be here.

AT 43, my friends thought I was settled and done. Nice house, no mortgage and seemingly not a care in the world. But that was the face to the outside world and was a complete lie.

I was actually having an #affair with a man my #exhusband and I had known for a few years, was winning overseas clients so I didn’t have to go home and was thinking about how to squirrel my money away so the #ex couldn’t get his hands on it.

So I left. And am now #onmyown.

I’ve decided this is the place to vent, so come along and see where I end up.

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